NFL QB Jeff Kemp-Facing the blitz
Updated: Sep 26
This was one of my favorite conversations with a champion of a guy. So many great stories and he shared some vulnerable moments.
NFL quarterback Jeff Kemp shares his worst moment in life and how it became his most spiritual moment.
Plus What he learned from his three favorite coaches.
He explains the value of a consumer attitude versus an investor attitude in relationships…
He outlines his three strategies for turning trials into triumphs
You’ll hear about how identity is something not earned, but received…
Also listen for Jeff’s explanation on how in prayer, it’s maybe more important to ask God to “FIX ME”….not just ... “FIX MY CIRCUMSTANCES.”
Wow…don’t wait, jump in and enjoy Jeff Kemp’s life story and insights.
If you want to view the conversation on YouTube:
To order his book:
Facing the Blitz: Three Strategies for Turning Trials Into Triumphs
To connect on Jeff's website
To book Jeff as a speaker for your group, church or corporation:
JEFF KEMP AT A GLANCE
Former NFL quarterback, author, marriage and family leader, men's ministry speaker, and soul coach who helps people understand identity, relationships, faith, and purpose beyond career success.
Topics
NFL · Seattle Seahawks · Jack Kemp · Identity · Faith · Marriage · Fatherhood · Leadership · Friendship · Purpose · Trials · Men's ministry
His Faith Journey
Christian upbringing → drift during college → spiritual awakening before entering the NFL → faith tested through career loss and marriage struggles → deeper identity in Christ → ministry to men, marriages and families
This Episode Explores
Jeff Kemp's 11-year NFL career
Growing up as Jack Kemp's son
His journey from Dartmouth to the NFL
Lessons learned from John Robinson and Bill Walsh
The "consumer versus investor" approach to relationships
The emotional end of his NFL career
Losing an expected opportunity to return to the Seahawks
Discovering identity beyond football
Faith, identity and professional athletes
The three strategies in Facing the Blitz
How marriage struggles became preparation for ministry
Stronger Families and FamilyLife
Jeff Kemp's men's "huddle" philosophy
His work as a soul coach
Questions Answered
Who is Jeff Kemp?
How long did Jeff Kemp play in the NFL?
What teams did Jeff Kemp play for?
Who is Jeff Kemp's father?
What did Jeff Kemp learn from Bill Walsh?
What does Jeff Kemp mean by "consumer versus investor"?
How did Jeff Kemp handle the end of his NFL career?
What does Jeff Kemp teach about identity?
How does faith shape Jeff Kemp's view of identity?
What are the three strategies in Facing the Blitz?
How did Jeff Kemp's marriage struggles shape his ministry?
What is Jeff Kemp's "huddle" philosophy?
What does Jeff Kemp mean by "soul coaching"?
How does Jeff Kemp help men, marriages and families?
Core Story
Jeff Kemp's story moves from a late-blooming NFL career and the enormous expectations of being Jack Kemp's son to a deeper understanding of identity, marriage, faith and purpose. When his football career ended in a way he didn't expect, Kemp describes moving from disappointment and self-pity to a profound realization that his identity was not in football but in his relationship with God. That insight became a foundation for his work strengthening marriages and families, mentoring men, building "huddles" of friendship, and helping leaders understand that identity is received rather than earned.
Ric: 00:01
JEFF KEMP AT A GLANCE
Former NFL quarterback, author, marriage and family leader, men's ministry speaker, and soul coach who helps people understand identity, relationships, faith, and purpose beyond career success.
Topics
NFL · Seattle Seahawks · Jack Kemp · Identity · Faith · Marriage · Fatherhood · Leadership · Friendship · Purpose · Trials · Men's ministry
His Faith Journey
Christian upbringing → drift during college → spiritual awakening before entering the NFL → faith tested through career loss and marriage struggles → deeper identity in Christ → ministry to men, marriages and families
This Episode Explores
Jeff Kemp's 11-year NFL career
Growing up as Jack Kemp's son
His journey from Dartmouth to the NFL
Lessons learned from John Robinson and Bill Walsh
The "consumer versus investor" approach to relationships
The emotional end of his NFL career
Losing an expected opportunity to return to the Seahawks
Discovering identity beyond football
Faith, identity and professional athletes
The three strategies in Facing the Blitz
How marriage struggles became preparation for ministry
Stronger Families and FamilyLife
Jeff Kemp's men's "huddle" philosophy
His work as a soul coach
Questions Answered
Who is Jeff Kemp?
How long did Jeff Kemp play in the NFL?
What teams did Jeff Kemp play for?
Who is Jeff Kemp's father?
What did Jeff Kemp learn from Bill Walsh?
What does Jeff Kemp mean by "consumer versus investor"?
How did Jeff Kemp handle the end of his NFL career?
What does Jeff Kemp teach about identity?
How does faith shape Jeff Kemp's view of identity?
What are the three strategies in Facing the Blitz?
How did Jeff Kemp's marriage struggles shape his ministry?
What is Jeff Kemp's "huddle" philosophy?
What does Jeff Kemp mean by "soul coaching"?
How does Jeff Kemp help men, marriages and families?
Core Story
Jeff Kemp's story moves from a late-blooming NFL career and the enormous expectations of being Jack Kemp's son to a deeper understanding of identity, marriage, faith and purpose. When his football career ended in a way he didn't expect, Kemp describes moving from disappointment and self-pity to a profound realization that his identity was not in football but in his relationship with God. That insight became a foundation for his work strengthening marriages and families, mentoring men, building "huddles" of friendship, and helping leaders understand that identity is received rather than earned.
Podcast Transcript: Jeff Kemp — Identity, Faith, Marriage & Turning Trials Into Triumphs
Amazing Greats with Ric Hansen
Introduction
Ric Hansen — 00:01
Well, hi there. This is Ric Hansen, your host for this episode of Amazing Greats, the podcast, where today we're going to do a deep dive into, among other things, facing the challenge of identity at the end of a career.
If you're a teacher or an airline pilot or an attorney or a radio guy like me, or a professional sports star, when what you do is over with, you're facing the question of who we are.
Jeff Kemp was a quarterback for the NFL for 11 years, including with the Seahawks, and then all of a sudden, not. Negotiating the identity crisis—that's part of what we're going to hear about today.
Plus, being the son of a bigger-than-life dad like Jack Kemp, that's tough. Figuring out what makes marriages work, that's tough. He throws himself a pity party. We'll find out a little bit more about that as well.
And a ton more. You're going to love this guy and his story, Jeff Kemp.
Now, if you're new to our podcast, please do me a massive favor and hit the subscribe button there, and/or hit the like button or share with a friend.
All right. This podcast is always free and will continue to be free, but we need your help to grow our audience.
Now, let's find out what makes Jeff Kemp such an awesome guest on Amazing Greats.
A champion of a guy who I've just started to get to know, and I really got to know through a book that he wrote, and found out a whole lot about him and his past and his family and his team.
I'd like to introduce to everyone who probably already knows the name. It's Jeff Kemp, who's a star quarterback at Dartmouth. He was 11 seasons in the NFL. His last season in the NFL was '91.
It's been a huge new chapter beyond the sports chapter that we're going to talk about, as well as his career in football.
Thank you for being here, Jeff. It's a pleasure to have you, and I really appreciate the time you set aside to be with us.
Jeff Kemp — 02:02
Hi, Ric. Good. It's fun to be getting to know you and communicating with people, and I'm looking forward to this.
Family, Seattle and a New Calling
Ric Hansen — 02:09
Very cool.
So you and your wife found out a lot about your wife, Stacy, too, because you do talk about her a lot in the book. And you have a team of four young men who are your sons, all of which start with K, which I thought was interesting.
Jeff Kemp — 02:23
You got the great alliteration thing going on.
I came from a family of Jack and Joanne with kids Jeff, Jennifer, Judith, and Jimmy. So we couldn't keep up with them, but at least we got our four sons named Kyle, Corey, Colby, and Keegan.
Middle names starting with J.
So they're guys, they're all married to really special young ladies, and all of them have at least one child. One of them has two, so we're enjoying like crazy being grandparents.
Ric Hansen — 02:55
Yes.
One question I can't quite figure out is your home base was kind of Seattle for a lot of years.
Jeff Kemp
Twenty-five years.
Ric Hansen
Yeah, and now you're in Little Rock, Arkansas. What happened there? Why did you leave us?
Jeff Kemp — 03:12
Stacy and I, from the very beginning of our life when we were with the Los Angeles Rams, did not have control of our career.
It was in the hands of a player personnel leader, the scouts, the GM, and the coach of the team. And if they wanted me in a city, I'd be there. If they didn't, they'd trade me to another. And if they didn't want me at all, they'd cut me and I'd be out.
So for 11 years, Stacy got used to, and I was used to, the fact that God moves us around, and we just go with where He has us placed.
So after football, we loved living in Seattle and ran Stronger Families for a long time.
Then I feel like I got traded to a team called FamilyLife, a large international marriage and family-strengthening Christian ministry based in Little Rock, Arkansas.
Ric Hansen — 04:10
Okay.
Jeff Kemp — 04:10
They wanted me on the leadership team, so that's where the job was, and my wife was up for an adventure. I prayed she'd like it, and she likes it so much that we're staying.
And the good news is we've got three kids that have kind of moved from New York and Chicago and Vail, Colorado, to roughly this part of the country.
So one's in Little Rock, one's in Nashville, and one's moving into northwest Arkansas this week.
Ric Hansen — 04:42
And do we still have one left out here?
Jeff Kemp — 04:44
We do.
We have Corey and Dana and their daughter Callie up in Renton, and they love it there. Their in-laws, his in-laws, are in Gig Harbor, so they definitely see the best of the Northwest.
Growing Up as Jack Kemp's Son
Ric Hansen — 04:57
Gotcha.
And you came from a family of notoriety, which would be Jack Kemp, your dad.
Jeff Kemp — 05:04
And Joanne Kemp, my amazing mom.
She's still alive, but yeah, Dad was the one that gets the public attention. Mom's the one that really anchored the home, was the one that believed in the power of the personal, who shaped us in great ways, as did Dad.
But Mom was that day-in, day-out influence, and Dad was the great encourager.
Ric Hansen — 05:31
And where's Mom now located?
Jeff Kemp — 05:33
She's in Bethesda, Maryland.
Following His Father Into Football
Ric Hansen — 05:35
Oh, okay. So you're spread out a little bit all over the country.
That's great.
But your dad was also an NFL star, and I read somewhere that you and he were the first of six NFL father-son players. Is that still true?
Jeff Kemp — 05:51
Yes, I think that's still true.
We didn't quite win two Super Bowls like the sons of Archie Manning did, so there's some much more exciting father-son quarterback combos than Jeff and Jack, but we were the first.
Dad, his career was like mine—slow start, late blooming, bounced around, got cut a number of times, traded, and then really had great success with the San Diego Chargers and the Buffalo Bills.
That's what he was doing when I was a little kid.
And I thought, "Oh, when I grow up, I'll be a quarterback."
I didn't know it was a hard job to get.
I really was a late bloomer. I didn't even start until my senior year of high school.
The best school I could go to, which was great for academics and fun for football, but not a great breeding ground for NFL players, was Dartmouth.
And so I snuck into the NFL, Ric, as a free agent with the Rams and overcame a bunch of odds.
God blessed me and opened up some doors. I made the team and met my wife that first year.
That was really the beginning of kind of a spiritual awakening in my life as well.
And a whole bunch of things have happened since then in 1981.
So we had five with the Rams, one with the Niners, four and a half with the Seahawks, and finished with the Philadelphia Eagles.
Ric Hansen — 07:19
And there's no third-generation football players, or did your boys—
Jeff Kemp — 07:25
Football players? They just got jobs that don't beat you up as much as the NFL.
Which is probably a good idea, right?
I coached them all in youth football. They all played high school football, and we've always had a blast watching them.
All four of them played college football as well.
Lessons From Great Coaches
Ric Hansen — 07:44
You worked for a couple of coaches that we're familiar with here—Bill Walsh and Chuck Knox.
Is there anything that you pulled from them as far as leadership? I don't even know if they were followers of Christ or not. But what did you learn from a couple of great coaches that you worked with?
Jeff Kemp — 08:04
Oh gosh, I have had some great coaches.
John Robinson was my coach with the Rams. What I learned from John Robinson was how to use humor and intensity at differing times to loosen a team up or intensify a team to practice hard and buckle down.
He was a master of that sort of motivation.
John Robinson also one time, when I was throwing the ball very few times but our team was winning, I was frustrated that I wasn't throwing much, and the papers were kind of calling me just a game manager.
He called me in, recognizing that frustration and kind of that horse chomping at the bit to do more.
He pushed a piece of paper across the table and he had some numbers on it.
It was the number of interceptions per pass, which was the lowest per pass in the league; the number of touchdowns per pass, which was at the top of the list in the league.
Now, my completions and yards were really quite anemic.
But we had a guy named Eric Dickerson in the background, so we were getting plenty of yards that way.
And he said, "Hey, I'm thrilled with these low interception numbers, thrilled with these high percentage of touchdown numbers. And look at this number. It's the one that matters the most."
"See this win-loss record? We're winning a lot more games than we're losing."
So he motivated me by helping me focus on the right things, and especially the team results.
We're an individual, consumer-driven, brand-yourself culture.
And it really is important for leadership to help us get the team picture and to be an all-for-one, one-for-all type guy.
So Robinson did that.
Then the greatest coach ever was Bill Walsh in San Francisco. And I had Mike Holmgren, another great coach, as my quarterback coach.
Walsh showed you the meticulousness and precision of every single play, and how it fits into the whole game plan, and how it fits into the whole season, and how the different roles of different players on the team that are sacrificing to be their very best matter to one another.
So he gave you more professional information than ever before, held you to higher standards than ever before, coached you much more specifically on timing, footwork, position of the ball.
I used to throw the football to like a basketball-rim accuracy.
Then I got there and I realized Joe Montana threw a pass to Jerry Rice one day that hit him in the hands, kind of on the shoulder on a slant route, and Jerry keeps running.
And Mike Holmgren says, "Good throw, Joe."
And Walsh turns to him and says, "No, it's not, Mike. That's not a good throw. That ball is a foot behind him. It could have hit his shoulder pads and bounced off it. It made him turn his shoulders.
"It should have been a perfect one-foot diameter of accuracy right in front of him at shoulder length, so that he could run without breaking stride and avoid the defenders.
"The quarterback's job, Mike, is to put it within one-foot diameter of accuracy."
That's what Drew Brees does. That's what Russell Wilson does. Patrick Mahomes does that. Joe Montana clearly did that normally.
And I picked up that standard of accuracy.
And it's a principle that you exist and you play quarterback to serve others, not for yourself.
And guess what they teach wide receivers in the 49ers and Seahawks and every NFL training camp?
No matter where the ball's thrown, if you can touch it, you must catch it.
So they're teaching receivers high personal responsibility and high personal standards to serve the quarterback, and they're teaching quarterbacks high personal responsibility and accountability to serve the receivers.
And I've been using this metaphor for a long time. It's far more important in marriage and in fathering than it is in football.
We become consumers many times, and we say, "Oh, that's good enough. She should treat me better."
No. That's a consumer attitude.
Are you apologizing? Are you forgiving? Are you dating her? Are you showing affection in the languages that she wants to see it?
Speaking her love language.
In my case, it's service because she serves, and I'm touch and words, and those come easy, but serving is hard.
But to be an investor husband, to throw to that one-foot diameter, I really need to remember what my wife asked and serve her.
So Walsh, greatest coach I ever played for, built—and Mike Holmgren was fabulous at handling me.
And they tied the little details to the big vision of winning Super Bowls.
That's great, great leadership.
Consumer vs. Investor
Ric Hansen — 12:47
I loved throughout the book there was this theme of consumer versus investor.
I just loved that. Never thought of it that way myself, but when you spelled it out and used many examples of how that works, it really made a huge amount of sense to me.
And I'm glad that you brought it up right here. I didn't realize that was kind of where that came from in your career.
What a valuable lesson.
Jeff Kemp — 13:17
Yeah, I mean, this is a financially driven culture, so a lot of people can identify with the idea that if you're a consumer, you spend your money, you use the thing, and then your assets are down and they're gone.
There's no compound interest in growth with consuming.
But if you're an investor, you're delaying gratification and sacrificing something now that's going to grow to give you a lot more in the future.
Now, that's not literally why you do something nice for your wife or your husband or your daughter or son or grandson or a friend.
You don't give to get. You invest to be the best person you can and to make their life the best it can be.
And God, in His beauty, will reward those who act in humble, unselfish, investing ways.
And you're the asset value, so to speak—not financial, but the relational value of your marriage rises: the intimacy, the joy, the fun.
The same in your family. The same in a business.
The End of His NFL Career
Ric Hansen — 14:18
There was one moment jumping back into your NFL career, and I wanted to talk about the four teams that you worked for in the NFL.
But there was a great story that I did not know, and I loved the story in the book.
It was the story of how you thought after you had left the Eagles and kind of been dropped from the Eagles that you had full intentions of going back to Seattle because there was an opening there and it was a natural fit for you, but that didn't happen.
Tell us about that. Tom Flores is the coach, right?
Jeff Kemp — 15:02
Tom is, yeah.
He'd been the general manager like a year or two earlier. I'd signed a contract with him and then I was traded.
Tom had actually played backup quarterback to my father on the Bills.
So we knew the Flores family, and he knew me—probably knew me as little young Jeff Kemp, Jack's kid.
But yeah, this is kind of one of those stories.
I've had times where I had success and it was empty. And I've had times where I had failure and loss, but it was a catalyst to the greatest things that have ever happened in my life.
And this was one of those.
My season ended really well with the Eagles in '91. I signed a big contract. I thought I'd revived my career, and I didn't make the team the next summer.
I flew home to Seattle and was waiting for teams to sign me.
Everyone was saying, "Hey, you had a great season. You're a good backup. Someone's gonna need you. Some quarterback will get hurt. You'll get a call soon."
Well, my prayers that God fixed my circumstances weren't being answered.
Maybe that's because that's the second-best kind of prayer.
I think it might be that the best prayer is, "God, fix me so I can handle any circumstance and bring You to anything or anyone that I encounter."
Anyway, I was not praying that super-mature, deep prayer. I was just, "Hey, give me a job, God."
And when the Seahawks had a quarterback get hurt in Week Four, their starter, I was sure this was the answer to my prayer—that I'd get to go back and finish with the Seahawks, my kids stay in school, keep living in the house.
And I called Coach Flores, left a message for him that I was in town, I was ready, I was in shape, sure that he'd invite me over really soon.
And he left a message for me, and it said, "Sorry, Jeff. I heard about what happened. We're gonna sign a guy from the World League, though. Good luck."
Click.
And oh man, I remember going out to the front porch.
I'd been helping lead the Bible study on the Seahawks and giving all sorts of talks about relationship with God and knowing Him and trusting Him, and my identity is in my relationship with God, not in football.
But that was pretty much out the window at this moment for a little while.
Because I went outside, slammed the door to my home in Redmond, sat on the front porch, and said, "This stinks. God, I'm not even gonna pray. This is not fair. It doesn't feel right. I can't believe football's finishing like this. I'm just gonna sit here and feel the stinking pain."
I went into this pity party.
Pretty soon my greatest teammate ever in life, my wife Stacy, came out to encourage me.
Gingerly, she said, "Oh, Jeff, I can't imagine how much this hurts. But I just gotta remind you that we've been through some trades and tough things before, and God's always had a purpose, a bigger purpose and a better purpose. He's always been there."
And I looked up at her while I'm sitting there in my puddle of pity, and I said, "I know that, but I just can't believe it. I just can't believe football's finishing like this. I just wanted to finish with some dignity."
And at that point, Stacy realized that soft, tender love wasn't enough.
She had to give me a little dose of direct truth-telling, tough love.
And so she said, "Well, as I recall, when Jesus Christ left this world, he didn't get any dignity. Maybe you need to let go of that desire."
Oh man.
I looked up at our future mature marriage conference speaker and said, "Maybe you need to go inside."
I wasn't immediately hearing it.
She went inside, and pretty soon those words she spoke and kind of the conscience and Spirit of God started speaking to me.
And I went from my worst moment, losing my career, to one of the greatest spiritual moments in my whole life.
Because I did envision Jesus, who is worshiped like the hero on Palm Sunday, turned around. Now they're saying, "Crucify Him," and His guys abandon Him. Judas betrays Him. They mock up some charges, falsely convict Him, and then they rip all the flesh off His back, beat His face, put a mocking crown of thorns on His head.
And all of this is done voluntarily. He's doing it on purpose.
And He goes up to that cross and He dies on purpose, bearing all of my sin to pay the price for my disconnection from God and my pride, my selfishness, my ignorance, my stupidity, and the whole world's rebellion from God.
And He did that for me, and I'm whining about wanting one more year of football.
Oh my gosh.
All of a sudden I was flooded by appreciation for God and His love and Jesus.
And I started to love Him back, and it was almost like I felt tears and I felt joy and I felt gratitude like never before.
And then I heard this voice. I feel like it was kind of God's voice.
I'd read it in the Bible years ago. It said, "Forget what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead."
And that was like, okay. Football was great. You gave it to me. I didn't deserve it anyway.
So I'll just use it as a platform for the rest of what You want me to do with my life, and move on to what comes next.
And that's when I really felt set free.
I didn't even have to open a restaurant as a backup quarterback with my name on the restaurant, which clearly would have failed.
I was ready to jump into strengthening men, fatherhood, marriages, and families, which is what He's allowed me to do for the rest of my career.
Identity: Who Are You When the Career Ends?
Ric Hansen — 20:56
And that brings us to the point again that I love: the whole identity-crisis mentality.
And it's not just with athletes who are done with their careers and then have to— they've been an athlete all their lives, from probably elementary school through high school, college, and into the NFL.
Now what?
You know, that's who I am. That's what I'm all about. I'm an athlete. I'm a sports star.
But that's true also in other areas.
You take a pilot who's a Boeing 747 pilot, and now all of a sudden he's benched, and his identity is in being a jet pilot.
Same with me—my radio career, my final radio moment. I said to myself, "Well, now what?"
I'm done as a radio guy, and that's what I'm known as. I've been a radio guy for 30 years.
So anyway, I love that. But there is a struggle there.
Jeff Kemp
It all goes back to when you're a little kid.
I'm not sure exactly what it's like for women who want to know that I'm special, noticed, valued, that someone would choose me, that my beauty and talent is cherished.
But for us guys, it's basically: "Do I have what it takes? Do I measure up? Will you pick me on your team? Am I a man?"
And you want to feel good about yourself.
That's the journey to manhood and to identity.
And frankly, we're quite vulnerable.
If we don't hear those words phenomenally well from our father—telling us that he's proud and he believes in us and we're a man and we measure up—and that it's actually not about being first string or getting straight A's or getting into the college that impresses him or making money or buying a nice car, we tend to try to earn our identity.
And the NFL's full of it. Guys trying to earn their identity.
And so are corporate boardrooms.
And now Twitter and Instagram and 16 brand-new social media platforms are full of people trying to build and earn their identity.
And you can't do that.
Andre Agassi said, "Image is everything," as he tried to build his identity, and he ended up empty and led to a life crisis.
So identity is earned, Ric?
Jeff and I are not former radio dude and former football player.
I'm not present speaker or author.
You're not present podcaster.
We are sons of a loving Heavenly Father—thank You for giving and smiling upon and loving us—and He has given us a purpose.
We're ambassadors to bring His love to others.
And I'm defined by my relationships.
I'm the husband to Stacy and the father to these guys and a friend to others.
But my bottom line is I'm a son of a perfect Father.
I think most people don't understand that identity is received, not earned.
And if you can get that and run to the Heavenly Father to receive your identity, let Him father you or even re-father you, that will start setting you free to not be so insecure, self-conscious, and whipsawed around by the ups and downs of your career or image or how many people are following you or whether they're saying good or bad things about you out there in the media, social media world, or wherever.
Faith and Professional Athletes
Ric Hansen
Speaking of athletes, I'm constantly kind of cognizant and kind of surprised that in the major leagues—in pro football, pro basketball, pro baseball—there's a considerable number of athletes who stand up and identify their Christian belief.
To me it's kind of surprising that they lay it out on the line and make that obvious.
Our own Russell Wilson is that way, Drew Brees—there's tons of them.
What is the connection? Have you thought about that? Is there a connection between playing at a top level like that in a very competitive field and having a really strong connection with God?
Jeff Kemp
I think there have always been a good number of athletes who had a faith that was real and vibrant and part of who they are.
But I don't think it was as popular to say it back in the '70s and '80s and '90s.
I know some people like Reggie White and Steve Largent who started to popularize that.
Roger Staubach talked about his faith in God and that he was a one-woman man and that he was gonna be loyal to her.
He had a perfectly vibrant and fun sex life, but it was just with one woman—in contrast to Joe Namath, who everyone said, "Wow, look at all the wild escapades he has."
And Roger said, "I don't think he has any more fun. I just happen to do it with one woman."
That type of courage, as well as the Tim Tebow style of giving credit to God, has become more visible these days.
It just means more athletes are out there with it.
Jeff Kemp — 26:55
But it's always been there.
Secondly, the pro athletes you're looking at are some of the very most elite performers in the whole world at what they do.
It's the one-hundredth of one percent, and the pressure and the pay and the risks are so high that if you aren't thoroughly anchored, you will not be your best and will be at risk of not continuing.
And the quarterback position is particularly challenging in that regard.
So I feel like men who have a faith have kind of stewarded their life, not just on the field but off the field, well enough that they were worth investing in and putting in a number-one starting spot as quarterback, year in and year out.
Philip Rivers and John Kitna and Russell Wilson and Patrick Mahomes and Carson Wentz and Nick Foles—these guys are partly great because they're anchored in God and their relationship with God.
And with that comes friendship and fellowship with other believers, which helps you protect yourself from becoming an idiot.
It lets you see your blind spots.
And football teams have a lot of camaraderie, and you're together all the time. They have Bible studies weekly. They have chapel service before each game. There's a chaplain you can go talk to about your challenges.
That's a lot easier than driving to the local church, which is far too shut down during COVID.
So there's a lot of assets at players' disposal.
And also I think it really helps you be a better performer and not make the big mistakes that will blow you out of the league.
So I think those are part of the reasons why.
Facing the Blitz
Ric Hansen — 28:52
That's a great explanation. I appreciate that.
Now, the book Facing the Blitz—the book is, by the way, just chock-full of great information, and I would highly recommend anybody get the book and read it. So much good stuff in it.
But the subtitle of the book is Three Strategies for Turning Trials into Triumphs.
Can you just kind of run through those three strategies?
Jeff Kemp — 29:21
Yeah, sure.
I do tell football stories and it has a football title, but the book is like 90% life stories, and of many other people, including some from my own life.
And they're stories that started off with some sort of really tough, unexpected, surprising, painful loss or challenge—a blitz, so to speak.
And that's a crisis.
The word "crisis" in the Chinese language has two symbols representing it, and they're juxtaposed. One is danger and the other is opportunity.
That's the premise behind the coaching of these three strategies: every challenge and trial and tribulation and difficulty and crisis is both dangerous but also an opportunity.
And if you have an opportunity mindset, they can lead to some of the greatest things in your life, like on that porch where I was in a pity party and my wife said something I probably wouldn't have wanted to hear, but they were both catalytic to something wonderful happening.
So, to beat blitzes and trials in life, you have to, number one, have an attitude of opportunity.
And number two, you gotta have a team.
You can't do it alone.
You gotta be transparent and self-aware and open, and maybe get some help from a counselor, a coach, a pastor, a mentor, your wife, your husband, a friend—a huddle of friends, which is what I have in life.
I walk in life with a huddle of friends every week.
It's not a football huddle anymore. It's a friendship huddle.
So number one, you gotta have that attitude of opportunity, and number two, you gotta have a team.
And I think you and I in this show would remind people you also need God to be centered in it.
Jesus said, "Apart from me you can do nothing," but you can do all things through me.
God wants to be a part of your life, and He's the power source.
When we are weak, He is strong.
So that's the starting point, Ric, for facing anything tough in your life—from a cancer diagnosis to a lost job to a kid who didn't get into college, to an argument in your marriage, a financial turnaround, COVID, whatever it is.
And here's the three strategies quickly.
Number one, you need a long-term view.
You need to see the big picture.
And I'm not just talking about one or two years. I'm talking 10 years, 20 years, all the way into your years of being a grandparent.
What will they say on your tombstone? What will they say at your memorial service?
What about eternity?
That's what the real future is.
What we're living is like one trillionth of one percent of what our life is going to be.
This is just the little teeny end of the rope of a rope that goes on forever.
So, the long term. Keep eternity in mind. Keep God in mind. Keep the next year in mind, the next 10 years, and your whole-life legacy.
Make decisions that way. Begin with the end in mind.
Number two is be willing to change.
We change the play. We audible. We sight-adjust.
We don't run the same play and say, "Oh darn it, it was a really good play that I called in the huddle. We're gonna run it no matter what."
And I end up getting sacked, laying on my back, fumbling the ball because my arrogance said, "No, I'm not gonna change."
Humility says, "Hey, the situation has changed. I probably need to change, and I'm willing to change."
That's number two.
You need to be willing to humbly learn a lesson, look at it differently, ask for some help, and try a different approach.
And many times that's the benefit that a crisis or a blitz brings.
You were supposed to change something in life, but you wouldn't do it until you finally had a crisis.
Ric Hansen — 33:10
9/11? Was that—COVID? Is that these are crises that take us back to our roots. What really matters? Relationships, family, God, eternity. Not money, not fame.
Jeff Kemp
And the number three strategy is take your eyes off yourself.
Little pitiful Jeff sitting on the front porch.
Take your eyes off yourself and focus on others.
Number three is focus on others.
Be an investor in relationships, not a consumer.
Bless other people.
I have a life coach, Scott Stixel, who gave me a line: we should always try to out-bless and over-bless other people.
That's focusing on others.
So a long-term view, a willingness to change—which comes from humility—and a focus on others, where you bless them as an investor, not look for what they can do for you as a consumer.
That will turn around your blitzes and trials, losses and difficulties.
God's Providence
Ric Hansen
Thank you. That's so important.
And I really appreciate your verbalizing that for me. Reading it in the book was one thing, and then hearing it come out of your mouth totally brings it to life even more.
The question is where—you mentioned once already where God showed up and showed off in your life. That was back when you were originally taken on with the Rams.
But were there other moments along the way that you can pinpoint where you could say, "That's really all God right there"?
Jeff Kemp — 34:48
Yes, yes, yes.
There's a word for God: that He's providential.
And providential is a better word than sovereign.
Sovereign means you're the king and you're in charge of everything, and God is that.
Providential adds to it: you're not only the sovereign King in charge of everything with power over everything, but your intent is good and loving.
So I believe God is providential.
And even though we can't see it in this world, that doesn't make sense, He is involved in everything and can turn things for good.
He's been involved in everything in my life, but I'll give you a couple instances.
At the end of college I'd floated and drifted from God, even though I believed in Him growing up a lot.
I didn't want to rebel or leave God or anything, but I just drifted for four years—focused on football and friends and parties and being popular.
I don't think I went to church at all. Wasn't reading the Bible.
But when college ended, my acne had cleared up, I'd gotten good grades, I was popular in my fraternity, I could enjoy dating different girls, and I had a contract to play in the NFL after I left college.
Everything was looking like the greatest success I'd ever wanted.
I was having more fun than ever, but as I was getting ready to graduate—going to bed at 4 a.m. a couple nights in a row as we partied all day long—I was super drunk physically but spiritually sober as could be.
And at four in the morning I'd lay down and two nights in a row I had this thought:
"Why am I so stinking empty if I'm so happy and successful, having so much fun and everything's finally turned out the way I want?"
And I kind of realized I was still insecure and self-conscious, more of a follower than a leader, more selfish than I understood or wanted to admit, and not as peaceful and happy.
And basically fearful of going out to LA and getting cut by the Rams.
Because then who would I be, Ric?
What would my identity be then?
Failure.
Yeah.
I had to be a big success because my dad was a big success.
I built that pressure on myself.
So back then, laying in bed spiritually sober but physically drunk, God spoke to me and brought up a Bible verse I'd remembered as a kid.
I'm not saying I heard a voice out loud. I'm saying this was the thought that came into my head, and it was so outside of what I would have been thinking that I knew it was God, and it was a blessing from Him.
"All things work together for good for those who love God."
That's a Bible verse I memorized in Romans 8:28.
But it continued, "to those who are called according to His purpose."
And the light bulb went off.
And I realized that's my problem.
I'm all about me and my purpose.
I can't just say I love God and live the way I want. He's too good for that, and He has a better purpose than me.
And that is when I turned my life and gave it to God.
Then He unfolded a pathway and a plan that was amazing.
I made the team despite the long odds.
I met my wife right away. She loved Christ like crazy, and she needed to, to stay married to me because we were super, super different.
Our personalities grated on each other—not right away, but within a year or two of marriage we realized we were the complete total opposites in every way, except we are both strong-willed leaders.
She's a 99 dominant leader. I'm a 97, and that bugs me because I'm competitive.
But in every other way our styles were different.
She's the introvert. I'm the extrovert.
She's organized. I'm a disorder—I'm a good disorganizer.
She's objective. I'm subjective.
It's down the line.
But God put us together and unfolded an amazing plan because I finally chose His purpose over mine.
And frankly, that marriage that was difficult led us to get a ton of help, and then that help prepared us to help other couples.
We speak at marriage conferences and mentor young couples and have been doing so for years from the standpoint that we're not perfect, and it sure is hard for us, but God definitely has answers and has strengthened our marriage.
From Stronger Families to FamilyLife
Ric Hansen — 39:10
Which brings us to what happened.
Tell us about from 1991 till now. There's been a sequence of things that you've been involved in that brought you closer and closer to God.
Fill us in on the details. You went to an organization called Stronger Families at first.
Jeff Kemp — 39:31
Well, it was another God thing.
Steve Largent recommended to some business leaders and a nonprofit that they hire me to lead a marriage and family-strengthening organization that was just getting started in Seattle.
I renamed it twice, but was involved basically in the founding and growing of Stronger Families and ran that organization for 18 years.
And went through a blitz when we kind of ran out of some money, had some debt in 2010, and that was God's way of moving me on.
I resigned, got my salary out of it, and shrunk the organization and gave it to a young man that we'd been mentoring.
And he's running it way better than I could be for this new season.
It's incredibly healthy and serving military marriages all over the country.
But that's what pushed me out of the nest and sent me to a national group where I could focus just on my messaging and strategy and relational gifts and not the administrative execution part.
And that's when I went to FamilyLife.
I worked for five years at FamilyLife, learned a ton, and got to speak a ton to men's groups.
And that's kind of another thing where I saw God's favor.
I was put in front of the group of people that I just feel total affinity for.
And I can use my football stories and my dumb marriage and fathering mistake stories to help guys identify, and then realize they can find their identity from the Father in Heaven in Christ.
They can find a pathway to manhood in the model of Jesus.
They can learn how to be a good father by copying the prodigal son's father and being refathered by our Heavenly Father, who is an amazing good Father.
And they can be excellent, impactful leaders in business or sports or school or wherever they are through humility and following Christ and by investing in others.
And most practically for all of that, the lesson of the huddle in football is something that they can follow in life and build a huddle of friends so that you have a team approach to life.
You enjoy friendship, and you have the accountability and encouragement—a place to disclose and confess your sins, ask for prayer, process things that you have blind spots on, and not fall in the ditch of doing dumb stuff that we do when we're living in the shadows and not connecting to anyone in isolation.
So man, that was God's hand to let me start speaking to men.
And then I left FamilyLife three years ago, and I've really been enjoying men's conferences, men's retreats.
I put on my own men's huddle retreats.
And my calling, Ric, is to help guys and leaders in particular get into huddles of friendship where they meet every week so that they can become the best version of themselves.
So I've seen God's hand all through it.
My wife and I speak for the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage getaways—those three-day marriage getaways, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
We also do something for churches and ministries called the Art of Marriage Live, a little bit shorter but similar, where we're presenting and using a little video.
And I just do a lot of men's conferences. These days they've been more on Zoom than live.
And I coach CEOs, but it's not executive coaching. It's not strategy coaching. It's not management coaching.
It's soul coaching.
Soul coaching is integrated. It's holistic.
It goes deep down to your identity, your relationships, making your faith practical, finding a way to get out of the isolation that leaders face, living in friendship and in a huddle, and then finding a way to kind of rebuild your marriage or rebuild your parenting and also delegate and build the team for the next generation.
Because a lot of business leaders get stuck thinking it's always going to go the way I want and I have to lead it.
And John the Baptist said, "I got to get out of the way for this Jesus guy."
And Jesus said, "I got to get out of the way for the Holy Spirit."
And now He gave this mission of His to all of us.
So soul coaching will help you deal with identity and huddle relationships and empowerment in every area of your life.
So those are the things I get to do today, and I'm very grateful and humbled by it.
Closing Prayer
Ric Hansen — 44:19
Thank you for spending the time with us. Thank you for your insight and a new friendship right here—a little mini huddle going on right here.
Jeff Kemp — 44:30
Well, let me do a natural thing for these listeners of ours and say a prayer for them.
Father, Ric and I thank You for the enjoyment of this conversation and guiding us.
We really care for Your desires to take place and Your will for the people listening.
Now, this we pray isn't just information, but actually You'd help them to swallow, digest and act upon whatever it is You spoke to them.
And that You would bless them with deeper relationship with You, Jesus, with You, Abba Father.
Let Your Holy Spirit come into them and guide them.
Help them form or deepen their friendships and to handle any of their situations, challenges, crises and blitz with an opportunity mindset and God and a team as they carry out that long-term view, willingness to change, and focus on investing in others.
So bless their lives so they can bless others and get the glory, God.
You're amazing.
We give You the credit.
Amen.
Ric Hansen — 45:30
Amen.
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